I don't know. I've always had stories in my head... usually I would draw, as a child, but I read like crazy (poetry and prose). In my early 20s I dabbled in poetry, largely to sort out my emotions. Strange for someone who, from adolescence on, was too shy to attempt to tell their stories in front of an audience... the series of accidents that lead to my having to take a leadership role in a religious community was one that lead to my having to face my anxieties about being seen and deal with some of those inner voices... which I faced again in academic and with academiblogging. And eventually, not that many years ago, I finally decided that I needed to pull a story--words, feelings, thoughts--from my head. I was petrified. But the stories didn't stop bubbling up (whether prompted or unbidden)--although stress certainly mutes them considerably, and keeps me from accessing the images I'm describing (I'm primarily visual... that's why I write vignettes, I'm actually recording what I see and hear in the story as it unfolds) or the words to describe them--and honestly... after the grief of losing the academic identity I'd had, I don't think I had enough energy to be afraid or being seen, anymore.
So, I write sometimes. It's a different creative process than when I'm working in clay. I've decided that I don't need to know the answer to 'Why?' ...it's the sort of self-doubting torture I've subjected myself to for years. I'm pretty sick of it.
How did you learn to write? What do you feel you're still learning to do?
I didn't. Rather, not fiction. I took a writing class as an undergrad, but I focused on poetry (and the instructor was... let's just say, I stopped writing for years as a result). I was an English Lit/History double major, so academic papers were non-stop - but those aren't storytelling, at least... they shouldn't be, right?
I have always learned from reading others' work, whether published or fanfic. I can tell you with certainty that I wasn't comfortable enough in my own head to take what I read and let it develop into something that was me until my mid-30s.
How much is your identity wrapped up in your writing and storytelling?
All of it and none of it. Rather... after losing myself once, I can't put myself in the position to be so broken again. I don't define myself by one thing, anymore, because I know what it feels to be bereft when that one thing is snatched away.
How much does audience play into what you do and how you do it?
I don't get read much, besides friends and the captive audience that is the Exchange. So not as much as for others, I suspect. I write primarily for me, even when I'm writing to prompt.
What makes certain stories shine (yours or others) in your eyes?
Reaching a point in characterization, a level of understanding I didn't have before I started the story, that feels like progress, or a journey taken, or... I don't know that I can put into words, honestly.
I'm tired and need to go to bed - so I'll finish tomorrow morning. :)
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Date: 2011-08-29 03:17 am (UTC)I don't know. I've always had stories in my head... usually I would draw, as a child, but I read like crazy (poetry and prose). In my early 20s I dabbled in poetry, largely to sort out my emotions. Strange for someone who, from adolescence on, was too shy to attempt to tell their stories in front of an audience... the series of accidents that lead to my having to take a leadership role in a religious community was one that lead to my having to face my anxieties about being seen and deal with some of those inner voices... which I faced again in academic and with academiblogging. And eventually, not that many years ago, I finally decided that I needed to pull a story--words, feelings, thoughts--from my head. I was petrified. But the stories didn't stop bubbling up (whether prompted or unbidden)--although stress certainly mutes them considerably, and keeps me from accessing the images I'm describing (I'm primarily visual... that's why I write vignettes, I'm actually recording what I see and hear in the story as it unfolds) or the words to describe them--and honestly... after the grief of losing the academic identity I'd had, I don't think I had enough energy to be afraid or being seen, anymore.
So, I write sometimes. It's a different creative process than when I'm working in clay. I've decided that I don't need to know the answer to 'Why?' ...it's the sort of self-doubting torture I've subjected myself to for years. I'm pretty sick of it.
How did you learn to write? What do you feel you're still learning to do?
I didn't. Rather, not fiction. I took a writing class as an undergrad, but I focused on poetry (and the instructor was... let's just say, I stopped writing for years as a result). I was an English Lit/History double major, so academic papers were non-stop - but those aren't storytelling, at least... they shouldn't be, right?
I have always learned from reading others' work, whether published or fanfic. I can tell you with certainty that I wasn't comfortable enough in my own head to take what I read and let it develop into something that was me until my mid-30s.
How much is your identity wrapped up in your writing and storytelling?
All of it and none of it. Rather... after losing myself once, I can't put myself in the position to be so broken again. I don't define myself by one thing, anymore, because I know what it feels to be bereft when that one thing is snatched away.
How much does audience play into what you do and how you do it?
I don't get read much, besides friends and the captive audience that is the Exchange. So not as much as for others, I suspect. I write primarily for me, even when I'm writing to prompt.
What makes certain stories shine (yours or others) in your eyes?
Reaching a point in characterization, a level of understanding I didn't have before I started the story, that feels like progress, or a journey taken, or... I don't know that I can put into words, honestly.
I'm tired and need to go to bed - so I'll finish tomorrow morning. :)