I don't know T and am not involved in this. My warmest good wishes for fortitude and good will go to all of you who are. Four years ago I saw my dearest friend through cancer to the other side (not the side we wish for). The only piece of advice I'd add to this excellent post is: if you're going to see the friend who's ill, cry your damn heart out ahead of time, so that you can be as cheerful as possible when you're in her/his presence. Whatever you do, do NOT cry in front of the friend who's ill.

The shower is an excellent place to sob like a banshee.

You are all heroes.